The Birth Plan That Survived Everything Except the Birth

My pregnancy was as smooth as one could imagine. I took a break from work just before I got pregnant, wanted a stress free time with myself, I was healthy, moving, glowing, confident, had a doctor who was very supportive and non-judgemental. In fact, I was very sure I would have a vaginal birth. How naive, I think on hindsight. As I completed full term, I went for my routine checkup. The doctor was telling a nurse, suspiciously I felt, in a volume louder than usual, that Indian women should get into labour at 36-38 weeks max because our bodies are not made to handle "bigger" babies. Something seemed off but I ignored it because she was the reason I had a wonderful pregnancy. Then, there was a "normal check" that invoved her checking my vagina. Felt odd, but I shrugged it off. In the end, she said "Get admitted today, and we will induce pain. That's what I recommend if you want a normal delivery" When I said maybe I'll wait, she said "You'll will come in anyway in a day or two" I was so confused. Went home and that day I had some bleeding. I did not even know until recently that what she did was a membrane sweep. And I did get admitted that night, my labour did not progress as I wanted it to, the pain was unbearable (of course) but apparently not diluted enough to get an epidural after asking for it for what felt like a million times. I gave up and got a C-sec done. Even that took a couple of hours before she could come to me. The horror!

"Imo, that one day sets the course for the next few months, and while one should expect uncertainties, it's a big confidence booster if women are kept informed of the happenings and have a choice at every step."

My baby is now over 2.5 yo and she's doing fine, I'm doing fine, but I felt cheated in those initial months. I had to let it go because there were so many other things to deal with and holding on to that was only pulling me down.

Emotionally, I had all the support. My partner, my family, everything. But physically, from what is expected from a medical institution and a professional, I felt deprived.