The C-Section I Always Knew Was Coming

When I got pregnant with my first child at the age of 40, somewhere deep down I knew that the delivery would be a C section one, especially after having undergone a very major emergency laparoscopic myomectomy surgery for my fibroids a few years ago. However, I was very clear - I will be an extremely active and “normal” mum right from the day of that positive test! I asked my doc a couple of times, whether I could have a normal delivery, as I’ve heard that recovery is much faster, and he replied saying “There is no reason why you can’t, unless it is medically needed”. So - I prepared for D day hoping it would be a vaginal delivery. I did prenatal yoga, duck walks, long walks, etc.

Then came a check up almost a month before my due date. The doctor asked me to do the NFT test which monitors the fetal heart rate closely, and asked me to rush to the hospital immediately. Upon meeting him, just at the beginning of my 36th week, he said “I need to get the baby out in 3 days time. It’s not looking good. And yes, it will be a C section”. My heart sank. I was not prepared for these timelines. I thought I had 15-20 days more at least! Nothing was ready for the baby at home! I still remember them taking my BP immediately after which had shot up to indicate the shock! However, upon further talk, we decided he could wait for 4-5 more days and told us to “pick a date”. Worried for my child’s health and safety, I was eager to get the baby out as soon as possible. We got home and my husband and his mother began cleaning, rearranging and preparing the house for the baby while I started ordering baby related products and things we would need, left right and centre. Amidst all this, the news sunk in. I would have a C section within the week.

Cut to - D day. On April 30th 2024 evening my husband I checked into Hinduja hospital, Khar, Mumbai, where everything felt surreal. We were excited, but worried too. Everything was happening too soon, and somehow it was a relief too, that the next chapter of this beautiful journey was finally here. For such an anxious person, I was oddly calm, spiritually centred and even amused!

That evening, assistant doctors informed me of the procedure - How they will prepare me for the OT, administer the spinal anesthesia, what I can expect soon after, etc. It was then that the nerves slightly trembled. It seemed a bit clinical, but this is what it was. I needed my baby to come out safe and healthy.

The next early morning at 6am, I was prepared for OT. I took a deep breath and said a long prayer, spoke to my baby inside me telling him/her that he/she would meet us soon and would come into a world of love, and that we would give each other strength through this journey. My brave husband was changed into scrubs and was with me inside the OT, something I had insisted on - simply because I wanted us to go through this experience together in every way.

"I wish women all over are better informed about the entire journey!"

And then, I was wheeled in. Again, oddly calm, surprisingly ready (or was it a surrendering, a blankness?). The OT had bright lights, everyone in scrubs, unrecognisable with masks, but extremely friendly, sweet and supportive, constantly communicating what they were doing to me, and asking me how I was feeling about it. I loved that. They were urgent but focused, professional but mentally invested in me and my baby. I will never forget this - when the spinal injection was being put in, there I was hugging a pillow from the front waiting for the needle, and I suddenly hear from the next door OT - A blood curdling scream from a woman clearly having a vaginal delivery! It was enough to scare anyone away, but I remember these thoughts entering my head very loudly: “Okay! They’re going to get a proper human baby out of my body anytime now!” And “Thank God I don’t even have to go to labour pains or what THAT girl is going through! I’ll take surgery anyday!”. Soon after, I began feeling numb chest downwards. Then, hands strapped onto the bed, they put the oxygen mask on me and some huge plastic inflated warmers as I had already begun feeling quite cold. I felt a bit claustrophobic. But then - they put the green sheet right in front of my face, almost near my nose and the claustrophobia hit the roof. I began feeling suffocated and panicky as my heart rate rose, and I told the doctors that I needed the sheet off my neck and face. It was immediately decided to have the sheet right off, and I assured them I would be better off watching the surgery (I couldn’t entirely see it of course) than feeling suffocated with the sheet, O2 mask and plastic warmers.

The doctor was amazing. He kept talking me through the surgery, keeping his usual sense of humour intact, and chatting with my husband too. I could see bloody gloves and red blood drops falling off drenched “threads” as he was stitching me. Luckily, I’m okay with medical procedures and seeing blood. I felt cold and shivers all throughout but surprisingly okay.

Soon it was time! He announced - “Okay, now we are getting the baby out! And… it’s a beautiful baby girl!!” That moment was unreal! They tell you about how you’ll feel a thousand emotions but really, you feel completely blank! It was more like “What? A real human baby came out of my body? And she’s mine?” I remember asking immediately “Is she okay? Is she fine?” And they assured me she was. She had the umbilical cord wrapped around her neck twice, and the doctor told us that that was the reason her heart rate was falling, and that getting her out this quick was a good decision. Hearing her cry was something else. I couldn’t wait to see her, hold her, feel her. I remembering asking my husband amused “Can you believe we have a daughter now?”. I watched as they immediately cleaned her and sanitised her, after which she was put next to me, her warm wet head touching my cheek. Instinctively I turned to kiss her and it felt like 9 months of love was finally here in the flesh for me to hold and see and touch and kiss!

They took her away, and my husband was sent up to the room to inform everyone. I started getting the shivers in a way I’ve never experienced before. And it went on for hours! My entire body was so cold and shaky that I had to breathe hard through my mouth, and all this made my heart rate pretty high. I am not sure if this was anxiety or just a C section side effect. They put me in a recovery room for what felt like almost 45 minutes and here I felt quite alone and was shivering, teeth chattering away, with my heart beating quite fast. The nurses assured me that this was expected. I couldn’t wait to be with my baby and husband. The wait seemed too long. Soon, I was wheeled to my room where I met the entire family, I was happy and relieved, but the fact that I had become a mother had not sunk in yet.

The recovery over the next two to three days was painful, and that’s an understatement. I couldn’t move much, I could feel the stitches burning painfully, I had cramps, I couldn’t digest my food and had bad stomach upsets, I had backache and the lack of sleep hit in a big way. The worst was the breastfeeding attempts, but I feel like that journey is truly a whole story or book in itself.

It got better as everything does. And I think my daughter and I survived it together, assuring each other at every step of the way that if we are in this together, it’s all worthwhile. Having a C section does mean having a longer recovery with some irrevocable physical damage for sure. My daughter is 17 months now but my stitches still hurt and itch sometimes, and the mom belly is yet to completely go in. But even today I truly believe that this was meant to be my journey, and this is how I was meant to bring my precious sweetheart into the world. One look at her face and I can say, it was all worth it. But can someone tell me, what do labour pains really feel like?!