The C-Section Stigma Nobody Talks About

I’m a mother of two cute and healthy kids. Both my pregnancies were smooth — hardly any nausea the second time, and none at all the first. But the deliveries… they weren’t what I had hoped for.

Or maybe it’s the stigma around C-sections that makes a mother feel like she’s somehow done “less.”

My first delivery was nothing like I imagined. My water broke at 35 weeks on May 2, 2020 — right at the peak of the first COVID wave. My husband wasn’t allowed inside the hospital. Due to strict COVID protocols, I wasn’t admitted; instead, I was sent back home on May 2nd and 3rd after being given steroids to help the baby’s lung development and antibiotics as a precaution so I wouldn’t catch an infection.

On May 4th, labor still hadn’t progressed and my water continued to leak. I was given my first dose of Pitocin at 5 p.m.but i didn't feel any contraction doctors kept on increasing the units, but nothing changed no contractions at all.. By 9 p.m., the baby’s heartbeat shot up to 180–190. I could feel the baby getting restless inside, and things suddenly became urgent because the doctors didn’t want the baby to pass meconium.

That’s when they decided on an emergency C-section.

"I realized that some bodies are simply not meant for normal deliveries, and that’s okay."

I was terrified and didn’t want the surgery. In the OT, my panic took over (and I was all alone through it), so they had to give me a sedative. My beautiful son was born preterm at 9:30 p.m. When I woke up, I was still in the OT, being prepared to be moved to my recovery room.

Since I was still almost a month away from my due date, I couldn’t immediately connect or attach to my child. I didn’t feel emotional right away — it took me a few days to actually feel that motherly bond.

The second time, I was more prepared. I read about VBAC, tried to stay positive about the possibility of a normal delivery, and was far more physically active than the first time — thanks to running behind my five-year-old son. I even selected a hospital known for having a higher VBAC success rate.

This time, thankfully, I was full term when my water broke. But just like my first pregnancy, labor wasn’t progressing. The hospital tried everything — exercises, non-medical induction methods, and eventually Pitocin — this time i got contractions from the starting, but intensity and frequency were not strong enough. After 40 hours of labor, it was finally decided that I had to go for another C-section.

The second C-section was different. This time, I wasn’t alone. My husband was with me throughout the entire process — from the start of antibiotics to the induction of labor, and finally inside the OT for the delivery. His presence made all the difference.

My beautiful daughter was born at midnight.