A Water Birth at Home in Siliguri

I recently gave birth to my second son here in India, and we had a beautiful water birth at home. The birth of my first son was also a home birth (in South Africa where my husband is from) and it was such a positive experience I knew I wanted to have a home birth again.

It took us a very long time to find midwives that were able to attend the birth, since midwifery and home births are not very common in India. In the process we also considered traveling to some different birth centers that we heard amazing things about, but we didn’t want to have to be away from home for so long. When we finally found our midwives we were so grateful!

We definitely felt the social and cultural pressure not to have a home birth. Before and even after the birth we had many people tell us things like, “you can’t have a home birth in India,” “you have to go to the hospital,” or even that we were being dangerous or irresponsible. I will note that not one of these people ever asked us about any details about our birth plan, our emergency preparedness, our birth team or what we had done to educate ourselves around the subject. They simply made assumptions or judgments based on their own experiences or lack of information- so I tried not to let it offend me and would usually respond by saying something like “this is our culture,” or “we know this isn’t common/recommended in India but we feel this is the best choice for our family.”

I should also note that we had several people who were very supportive and encouraging as well. It wasn’t only negative!

Our midwives were from South Africa and agreed to come stay with us from 38 weeks to 41 weeks. I went into labor with my first baby completely spontaneously at 40+4, and I would have been comfortable going past my due date without any interventions this time as well if it were not for the fact that my midwives had that set leave date, and I really did not want to give birth after they left and need to go to the hospital. Somewhere around 39+5 we decided to do a stretch and sweep to encourage things along. I was 2 cm dilated after the sweep. From then on, every evening I started having very light cramps and going to bed hoping I would wake up in the middle of the night in labor. After a few days of this we did another stretch and sweep. I was still at 2 cm and the cramps were getting slightly stronger in the evenings but labor was not yet starting. Finally at 40+6 we decided to break my water in the evening. This was a decision we weighed very carefully. We put a 12 hour timer on it; if I was not in active labor within that 12 hours I would go to the hospital. We knew that it was a risk, but the alternative risk was to wait and then if I didn’t go into labor before the midwives left then I would end up at the hospital anyway.

We broke my water at about 8:40 pm at 40+6. I was 3 cm dilated then and having some light contractions, but they were not very long or consistent. My midwives suggested that my husband and I try to get some sleep, but within half an hour I knew the baby would come that night.

My contractions started getting intense and close together very quickly, coming around 1-2 minutes apart. During my first birth, I felt that I prioritized rest over movement a bit too much and feel that may have slowed things down, so this time I was more intentional about moving my hips through each contraction in whatever way it felt my body needed. I also felt much more in tune with my body this time around, which was encouraging!

Another thing that was different from my first birth is that I was more prepared with specific birth affirmations. Though I heard people discuss this before my first birth, I found it difficult to anticipate what type of affirmations would be helpful for me without having experienced labor. The ones I chose this time that were so helpful were 1) I can do another one… after each contraction I would tell myself this and it was so helpful for my mind when the next one would begin. 2) Each contraction is bringing me closer to meeting my baby… a classic, and I loved it. My first labor was very long and there were points where it felt like all of the labor wasn’t doing anything, so it was encouraging for me to remember that the contractions were in fact doing something l! And 3) This contraction is going to peak and then it will come back down… this was very helpful for me mentally as well when things felt intense. It helped me to stay calm, remember to breathe and to relax into each contraction as much as possible.

One difficult thing was that changing positions almost always triggered a contraction, making my short breaks even shorter. My husband would also sometimes talk to the baby in between contractions, which would cause the baby to move and trigger another contraction, so I had to tell my husband that he could only talk to the baby after I had a short break first.

"I feel like I could go on and on about how amazing this birth was."

I have to mention that having my husband with me during labor is absolutely a non-negotiable, and was a big reason we didn’t want to have a hospital birth. None of the hospitals in our city allow the father to be present during delivery. Both midwives were amazing with providing counter pressure or massage during labor, but it was crazy the difference I would feel when my husband touched me-even if he just held my hand or made eye contact- it was like I could feel the oxytocin flowing in a way that I didn’t feel when it was the midwives instead. It was so beautiful.

I really wanted to try for a water birth this time, something I didn’t do with my first. My husband and one of my midwives worked hard for a couple hours filling the pool and ensuring the temperature was right, all while supporting me through labor. I am so grateful for their hard work in that!

I didn’t want to be in the water too soon or for too long, so I tried to hold out until I really felt like I needed the relief. When I got to this point, around 4 hours in, my midwife asked if she could do a cervical exam first, and I agreed. I was only 5 cm at that point, which felt a little discouraging, because the intensity made me think I was further along. We decided it would be best to try to wait another 2 hours before I got in the pool. We did not end up waiting this long. About an hour and a half later is when I think I hit transition. I had a brief moment where I felt very emotional and a little frantically grabbed on to my husband as a contraction started saying “I don’t know what to do.” Then my midwife said I could go ahead and get in the water.

Getting in that pool was like the best bath of my life. It really took the edge off, and I could very freely move around in the water to find different positions I felt comfortable in. My husband joked that I looked like a wrestler in a ring the way I moved around so much. In the water I had another emotional moment where I asked out loud, “is it working?”, which I realized was insecurity coming up again from my first birth where I stalled for a long time. My team encouraged me that it was definitely working and I was able to continue on peacefully, even sleeping for a few minutes.

I think that relaxing in that water was just what my body needed, because before we knew it I was ready to push! When my husband realized the baby was coming he jumped in the pool so fast- that was one of the sweetest parts of the birth for me- seeing his readiness to support me without hesitation.

My birth affirmations changed here to 1) I am made to open or 2) it’s just a stretch. Both so helpful.

With both of my births I really enjoyed the pushing phase. Though I initially was nervous about the ring of fire or that it would be the most painful part, I really didn’t experience this part as painful. Feeling my baby’s head coming out and knowing I was so close to the end felt like a huge relief.

This time, I never did anything to try to push. I simply kept breathing and let my body take over. This was incredible and very different from my first birth. I pushed on my knees, while leaning over on the side of the pool and within a few contractions, at 2:47 am the baby was out! A respectable 4.18 kg and no tearing!

From breaking my water to birth was only 6 hours, and from 5cm dilated to birth was only 2 hours (compared to 12 hours with my first). I was only in the pool for 30 minutes before the baby came. Something else that was amazing is that I labored, gave birth, had skin to skin, and even slept for a few hours- all while my toddler was sleeping soundly in the next room. So ideal!